


A Breath Away From You

by Chechilia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Claustrophobia, First Meetings, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 15:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11603346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chechilia/pseuds/Chechilia
Summary: Of course, Arthur's car would break down the day he needs it most. Of course, he would have to take the subway. And of course, a man - admittedly gorgeous - would choose this time to have a panic attack.





	A Breath Away From You

**Author's Note:**

> First thing I manage to finish in nearly a month, because writer's block is a bitch.
> 
> Please be careful of the warnings : the story features a main character having a panic attack caused by his claustrophobia in the subway.
> 
> Tell me what you think ! Hope you'll enjoy :)

" Holy fucking hell. "

The curse escaped Arthur's lips, unbidden, and resonated against the leather seats of his car, trying to shame him in his outburst. It wasn't as if Arthur would care : despite all of his efforts, if there was one thing that his father hadn't managed to teach Arthur, it was to reign down his foul language. He had tried, of course - the first time Arthur had sworn in front of him, he'd refused to talk to him for a week, and his nanny had given him a dressing down so loud his ears were still ringing, almost twenty-three years later - but all in vain : Arthur cursed on a regular basis. He found it soothing.

This time, though, no one was there to call him on it, and it wasn't as if he didn't have a good reason to let out his anger : on a scale of the day he got an A minus at school to the one his father had given him the sex talk - he still wasn't over that one - his day already ranked pretty high in terms of shittiness.

First of all, Arthur had woken up late, which didn't happen to him, ever. Both his alarm clocks had chosen to die off during the night, and his obnoxious neighbor that usually listened to hard rock at five in the morning had miraculously remained silent.

Then, Arthur had nearly broken his little toe while grudgingly getting out of bed, only to find out that he'd ran out of caffeine - which was horrendous enough in itself. That alone would have pushed this day to the top of the scale, but it apparently didn't suffice : his car resolutely refused to start, deciding to go on a strike for the day, and no amount of ranting or gentle coaxing managed to get her out of her tantrum.

As the CEO of his company, he could have taken the day off : it wasn't as if he was regularly absent from work, and he could always use his home's laptop to work from afar. But then his PA, Gwen, just had to call to remind him of his appointment with Bayard, an old business associate of his father that seemed to shower twice a month and ate babies for breakfast.

Or at least very dubious looking jam.

Already late for work, Arthur had no choice but to use public transportation.

And this is how a grumpy Pendragon found himself in the subway on a Monday morning, forced to stand because all the seats were already taken, damning under his breath the bad ventilation and the buzzing crowd of people locked up in too little space.

He did manage to make himself a way toward the window, from which the upper side was cracked open, providing little but nonetheless welcome fresh air. Despite this privileged position, he didn't held back a groan as the subway's door opened at yet another stop, letting in a steady stream of tired-looking workers and bored students that carried too large backpacks on their too thin frames.

Arthur even noted the presence of a few elderly that, in his opinion, had absolutely nothing to do in the subway at the earliest hours, when everyone else was going to work and there was not enough place to breathe, yet alone move.

Pressed up against the metallic door, arm bent awkwardly to hold his suitcase, Arthur cursed once again his car for having broken down right when he needed it most, on the very day he had an appointment he couldn't miss. His back was uncomfortably hot under his tailored jacket, and he absolutely loathed being forced to share his personal space with a crowd of sweaty strangers that had no qualms about invading his privacy - he caught more than one passenger looking over his shoulder the few times he checked his phone.

Despite the train being already filled to the brim, more people tried to get in at the next stop, pushing everyone and plastering themselves against him and every other passenger in the vain hope of getting where they needed to be on time. When the door closed and the subway gingerly started to move again, the train was packed like a box of sardines.

Barely managing to move, Arthur threw an annoyed glance at his watch and sighed at the rapidly ticking mechanism : he hated being late. Sighing again in aggravation, he picked his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open - he hadn't bothered change it in ages - checking his messages for the umpteenth time that day.

He swore loudly when he found a text from his PA saying that Bayard had canceled his appointment in favor of looking after his sick daughter, leaving Arthur virtually free for the entire day. Ignoring the furtive glances and disapproving frowns of his fellow passengers, he pocketed his phone and gazed heavenward, praying for the exhausting ride to end soon.

Of course, that only was already too much to ask.

A sudden choking noise startled Arthur out of his reverie, and he turned his gaze to the man on his left just in time to notice his pained grimace, fleeting but worrying nonetheless. Quite tall - Arthur estimated they were of close heights, but as the man was hunched on himself it was hard to tell - he seemed unnaturally pale, his alabaster skin looking almost translucent as a sheen of sweat beaded on his brow.

Considering his environment - it was way too hot on the train, and there wasn't much air to breathe - Arthur could have dismissed the obvious discomfort as tiredness or a simple cold, if not for the telltale sound of shallow breathing and the way the man was clutching thin fingers at his chest.

Suddenly anxious, Arthur studied him more fully, distantly noting the raven curls and high cheekbones as he registered the slight wheezing sound coming from the man's throat.

" Are you alright? '' he asked, worried, raising his voice to make himself heard despite the loud noise of the wagon on the tracks.

The man's eyes snapped up to his, too wide and incredibly blue, and Arthur barely had the time to marvel at the golden specks in his irises before registering the panic simmering within.

'' I...no, it's... ''

The man stopped talking as his breathing became erratic, making Arthur's heart pound in his chest, as if trying to break down his ribcage :

'' Shit '' he cursed. " You're claustrophobic ? ''

He phrased his question cautiously, but he knew his assumption wasn't too far-fetched considering the situation they were in.

Surely enough, his interrogation was met with a pained nod and the man pressed his eyelids closed, as if trying to shut down the outside world. He tried to take a breath before answering but his exhales came out in short bursts that Arthur knew meant trouble.

'' Shit '' he said again.

Looking wildly around him for a place the brunet beside him could breathe in, having a bit more space, he found none and pursued his lips. It was just his luck, a complete stranger having a panic attack on the subway. The man was obviously alone, and no one seemed to have noticed that something was wrong.

Without giving it much thought, Arthur set his suitcase down between his legs and moved to stand directly in front of the other man, placing his hands on either side of his lithe body. Using the width of his shoulders and the hours he spent at the gym working out to let off steam, he pushed on his arms to stand the furthest away possible from the other man, trying to create a safe bubble for the man.

" You're alright '' he said softly, leaning in just enough for his voice to carry. " It's alright, you can breathe. See ? There's plenty of space. Just breathe. Focus on my voice, alright ? Slowly, come on. In. Out. Match me, okay ? "

He exaggerated his own breathing for the man to follow him, not once flickering away from the man's gaze, too blue, just this side of terrified and grateful all at once that made Arthur's nerves prickle on end. Forgetting the world around him, he narrowed his very perception to the man in front of him, oblivious to the other passengers, to his stop coming up, to the uncomfortable pressure on his back.

" In. Out. "

His voice became a whisper, like the caress of a breeze.

" Slowly now. In. Out. Come on, you're doing good, come on. "

The man's eyes flickered closed as he abandoned himself to Arthur's voice. His breathing gradually settled until it became soft and slow again, much like Arthur's own. As his heartbeat returned to normal, he stumbled and sagged into place, as if he were a puppet with its strings cut off, exhausted beyond belief as his panic receded.

Without thinking - and in a gesture that he won't be able to explain to himself later, as unlike him as it was - Arthur steadied the man and tugged him close, allowing him to rest on his chest as he was barely managing to stand on shaky legs. Uncaring that he held a virtual stranger in his arms, just thankful that the attack hadn't been worse.

The brunet didn't seem to mind, however, as he leaned his head on Arthur's shoulder, eyes still closed. He was breathing slowly, as if to forget the world around, everything that wasn't Arthur and the motion of his lungs, lulled into an almost sleep.

Overcome by a wave of tenderness for a man he didn't even know the name of, Arthur brought up a hand to card into the man's curls, playing with the soft damp hair at his nape.

" It's alright " he shushed. " You're fine now. You're fine. "

When his stop finally came, Arthur gently dragged the man outside the subway, supporting him as he walked before settling him in the nearest bench. The man followed him without protesting, slumping against the wall before taking big lungfuls of fresh air under Arthur's watchful gaze.

When he finally raised his head, his smile was a mixture of grateful and apologetic, and his eyes met Arthur's in a clash of blue :

" Thank you for rescuing me " he said, the words tilted with a hint of sheepishness. " I know it's not very smart of me to have taken the subway, but usually I'm fine, I just didn't expect there'd be so many people that early in the day. "

He winced :

" And really sorry for having more or less fainted on you. I don't usually do that. "

" You don't have to apologize " Arthur replied gruffly, a bit uncomfortable. " It's not as if you could help it. "

The man's lips quirked into a grimace and he rubbed a tired hand over his face :

" Not really, no " he admitted. " But thank you nonetheless. It's not everyday someone would help a stranger like you did. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there. "

Arthur cocked his head :

" Surely it's not that rare " he mused, eyebrows raised in disbelief. " You probably would have found someone else to help you. "

The man snorted :

" In the subway ? You're kidding, right ? "

At Arthur's blank expression, he flailed :

" It's a freaking nightmare in there ! Think Hunger Games - well, it's worse. "

He shook his head, muttering under his breath, and Arthur bit his lip to keep himself for blurting out how endearing he found it. He let his lips quirk in a smirk :

" Interesting comparison " he said, his smile revealing slightly crooked teeth. " I admit that I was thinking something more along the lines of a dragon's cave, but I guess the Hunger Games are good enough. "

His admission earned him an amused chuckle :

" A dragon's cave ? " the man repeated, a hint of a frown on his brow.

" Well, you see " Arthur shrugged, eyes twinkling, " an evil dragon, a handsome prince..."

" Oh no " the man suddenly butted in. " I am not a damsel in distress. No way. "

He was holding up a threatening finger, but his cheeks were dimpling as he was fighting a smile ; the battle was quickly lost, however, as a wide grin appeared on his face. He eyed Arthur's frame with unmistakable interest and the light in his gaze turned devious :

" But I admit you'd do well in the role of a prince charming. "

Arthur snorted loudly - belying the very idea - and the man's smile widened even further, pleased at the reaction. The blond, feeling oddly daring, held his hand out :

" I'm Arthur " he said. " Pleased to meet you. "

The brunet's expression shifted into something softer as he stood up slowly, feeling his legs under him.

" Merlin " he replied, shaking Arthur's hand. " And likewise. "

His guileless blue eyes were sparkling, and currently the most beautiful Arthur had ever had the chance to lose himself in.

" So, Merlin " he asked, testing the name on his tongue, " may I ask why you chose to fight off an evil dragon this morning ? "

The brunet grimaced :

" Well, I have this interview, and the building is a bit far from my place, so... "

There was a beat that allowed an awkward silence to fall upon them as Merlin looked down at his watch and froze :

" Shit " he muttered, eyes widening.

He scrambled for his phone - checking the time, Arthur guessed - and cursed again.

" What's wrong ? " Arthur asked, puzzled.

" My interview " Merlin answered, eyes darting to his left. " I would have loved to stay, but I'm already a bit late, and I can't really afford it, because the head of the Human Resources is said to be an absolute shark, she'll never hire me if I am not exactly on time. "

Arthur frowned, the description oddly fitting someone he knew, but the coincidence would be far too perfect so he asked instead :

" Will you be alright ? "

Merlin nodded, a small, grateful smile on his lips :

" I have to " he replied. " I may not be at my best right now, but the job I applied to is kinda my dream job, and I've wanted to work at Camelot for ages, so I really really have to go. Thanks again, I'll just..."

He started searching in his pockets, patting himself hurriedly - looking for a piece of paper, Arthur presumed when he saw the pen between Merlin's fingers - but Arthur interrupted him :

" Wait. Did you just say Camelot ? "

Merlin froze at the gleeful tone in Arthur's voice :

" I did ? " he answered, puzzled.

Instead of addressing Merlin's obvious confusion, Arthur rubbed his hands together :

" Oh, this is too good " he crooned. " What's the name of the head of the HR department again ? "

" I didn't say " Merlin replied, frown deepening, " but her name is Morgana Pen..."

"...dragon " Arthur ended.

He smiled toothily :

" She'll have a fit when she'll find out you stood her up. "

" I...won't ? " Merlin tried, uncertain and a bit bemused.

" Oh, you will " Arthur replied with a soft laugh. " We're getting some coffee. "

He sobered up the next second, realizing that Merlin wasn't following :

" Only if you want to, I mean " he quickly amended, suddenly shy. " You don't have to. It's just, you said you weren't at your best now, and I've been looking for a way to get back at her after her horrendous set-up at our last Christmas party, and I just thought..."

" Wait wait wait " Merlin suddenly exclaimed. " You mean to say that you know Morgana Pendragon ? "

" The devil in the flesh " Arthur muttered. " Yeah, unfortunately, I do. "

His confirmation made Merlin's eyes widen the size of saucers :

" But she's...I mean, Morgana Pendragon ! She and her brother managed to turn Camelot into a company anyone would dream to work in, with competent teams of specialists, and decent ethics, and...They're the Pendragons, for God's sake ! They were practically legends in school ! "

Arthur shuffled on his feet, heart warmed by the praise but a bit uncomfortable at the same time :

" Right " he said with a grimace.

Legends. Oh God. Better never tell Morgana about this, Arthur thought. Weighing his options, he tried a smile :

" So, what do you think ? You'd rather go in now, or wait for another time ? "

Still dumbstruck, Merlin had at least the presence of mind to shrug in answer, sheepish :

" Maybe wait " he admitted, raising a hand that was faintly trembling. " I mean, if there's a possibility...I wouldn't want to cause trouble or..."

Arthur made a sweeping gesture with his hand :

" Don't worry " he said, " it'll be fine. She owes me, anyway. "

Merlin waited a bit, looking at Arthur expectantly, and his eyebrow raised when he realized Arthur wasn't making any move :

" Shouldn't you warn her ? " he asked, unsure.

Arthur pinched his nose in annoyance :

" Oh, I should " he said. " I just don't think I can handle her so early in the morning. "

At Merlin's insistence, though, he took out his phone, and took a deep, fortifying breath before pressing the call button :

" What's your name again ? " he asked as the ringtone breached the silence in his ear.

Merlin hurried to reply :

" Emrys " he said, " it's Merlin Emrys. "

Arthur nodded in acknowledgement before putting his phone on speaker and holding it between Merlin and himself. Merlin raised a bemused eyebrow at the name Harpy displayed on the screen, but made no further comment as Morgana answered on the third ring :

" Arthur ! " she exclaimed in a disgustingly cooing tone, her voice clear at the other end of the line. " What do you need me for, so early in the day ? "

Arthur snorted :

" Why do you always assume I call you because I need something ? " he asked. " Maybe i just like the sound of your voice. "

There was a pearly laughter at the other end of the line :

" Like hell you do " Morgana answered.

" You wound me " Arthur stated, feigning hurt. " Maybe I truly do love you, you know ? "

It was by chance that Arthur was looking at Merlin in that instant, and he caught the fleeting disappointment in his eyes, the faint sting of betrayal, the way his shoulder slumped in defeat. He frowned, but Morgana's answer snapped back his attention :

" As if. What is it ? I don't have all day, so spit it out. "

Arthur rolled his eyes :

" Sometimes, I do wonder why we share the same last name " he mused out loud. " Your impatience is legendary. "

" I have an interview in five minutes, brother dearest " Morgana replied in a fake sweet tone, " so I suggest you talk now or I'll hang up on you. "

Her threat fell on deaf ears, as Arthur shrugged a contrite shoulder in front of Merlin's gobsmacked expression.

" Brother ? " the latter murmured, disbelieving.

" Sorry ? " Arthur mouthed with a wince.

He reported his attention back to the phone, hearing his sister's aggravated sigh :

" Alright, alright, fine " he relented. " I was wondering...does the name Merlin Emrys ring any bell to you ? "

He dutifully repeated the name, knowing very well it would, given the situation. He could have outright stated that he was with him, but for some reasons he didn't want to tip his hand so fast.

There was a second of silence :

" Actually, it does " Morgana replied, voice switching to a more business-like tone. " He's the one I have an interview with. Is there something I should know ? "

" Would it bother you to move his appointment to another time ? " he asked plainly.

He knew his sister didn't like playing games when it involved the company, so he didn't beat around the bush. Morgana's tone turned thoughtful :

" I wouldn't mind, I guess, if I must " she replied. " He's practically hired anyway. I thought his resume too good to be true, so I've been digging around. His recommendations are solid, even if he's too young to have real experience in the field, and his profile is perfect for us. "

" Why interview him, then ? " he asked, voice light.

He was watching with an amused smile Merlin flush under the praise, still shocked by all that was happening to him, not quite believing he wasn't dreaming as two of the people he admired most were discussing him as if he was some kind of rare jewel.

" I just want to make sure I'm not picking a complete bastard " Morgana deadpanned. " The interview is a formality, really. "

And that was the moment to put down the ace he'd kept up his sleeve, Arthur thought.

" Oh, you mean like you picked Cenred last Christmas ? " he answered, a soft laugh mingled in his words.

He heard a loud groan on the other side of the line, and he grinned wildly, knowing he had won. Sure enough, his sister sighed :

" What do you want ? " she bit out.

" Well " Arthur started, raising an eyebrow at Merlin, who looked a bit pale but nodded. " I'd like you to say hello. Merlin, this is Morgana, my sister. Morgana, here is Merlin Emrys, our new employee. "

On cue, Merlin shuffled closer :

" Er...hello ? "

There was a second of silence, followed by another, and another...Arthur pinched his lips. It wouldn't be long now...

" Arthur ? " Morgana called softly.

Even Merlin, who didn't know the woman personally, could feel the danger - he could hear Morgana's voice screaming murder at him underneath the would-be-bored tone.

" Yes ? "

" Was he, by any chance, listening all along ? "

" Yeah ? "

A beat. Another. And another.

" Arthur ? "

" Yes ? "

" Tell me, why shouldn't I kill you right now ? "

" Because you love me ? "

Silence.

" And because, well, I reminded you of Cenred for a reason. You owe me. We're hiring Merlin - cause there's no point in having an interview, really - and I'm taking him out for coffee. If that's alright with you ? "

She wouldn't refuse, he knew, but she also was the head of the HR Department, and had always been ferociously professional :

" You're vouching for him ? " she asked.

Arthur caught Merlin's gaze and held it. He prided himself in being quite a good judge of character - he'd run away from Cenred in five minutes tops, that should count for something - and he could tell Merlin was a good sort - honest and hardworking.

" Don't go too hard on him " he replied, but _yeah, I do_ was what he was really saying, " he insisted that I warn you beforehand. "

A soft sigh, the sound of a drawer snapping shut, and then :

" You win this round " Morgana said, all righteous acceptance when Arthur really knew she was fuming.

He smirked.

" Also, Merlin - can I call you Merlin ? - I'll be waiting for you on Friday, eight sharp, in my office. We'll break you in before you start working on Monday. "

She hung up without letting any of them the time to answer. Unsurprised at the turn of events, Arthur turned to Merlin, who was watching him with wide blue eyes like clear sapphires, lips parted in a mixture of joy and bewilderment. The brunet took a deep breath to gather his wits, shrugging out of his shock :

" Thank you, Arthur " he said sincerely, for the second time that day. " I mean, this is huge - I don't think I realize, I just..."

" It's alright " Arthur assured, smiling softly. " You heard what she said, your interview was a formality. You'd have gotten the job anyway. "

" Still " Merlin replied, shaking his head. " It's like a bloody fairytale or something. "

Arthur quirked an eyebrow and Merlin chuckled :

" Still not a damsel " he muttered, prompting a laugh from Arthur.

" Maybe not " he replied with a tilt of his head, " but I'm still a prince charming. So, coffee ? "

" Coffee it is " Merlin answered with shy smile, cheeks turning pink. " With pleasure. "


End file.
